i love this mess

i came home from my manila trip last thursday night (feb3) to see our house in complete chaos from hallow and decorative blocks, fine and coarse sand, bags of cement, scrap woods, metal wires (if that’s how you call it) and accessories for masonry work. still in a daze, i thought i had the wrong house but manong ushered me in so this was indeed our house. it hasn’t been that long since i left for call of profession yet this kind of state welcomed me home. guess i was just all tired and grumpy to immediately realize that manong and mamang launched the ground breaking of our simple house renovation. this is just the first of a series of improvement schemes my family has been brewing for years now.

my mood then changed to utter excitement over the disarray in front of me. this plan has long been kept in abeyance in our planner for obvious reasons. of course, we, like most families, are at the mercy of funds availability and for the longest time, time was all we could afford from what seemed to be a long list of to do’s and to buy’s. if it wasn’t for the leaking gutter last year, this action wouldn’t be taken so seriously, with urgency, in the first place. but, boy, am i ever so thankful for the provisions from Him at the right time that warranted us the plastering of our once-dilapidated walls and enclosing of the right portion of this dwelling and fixing the roof.

i almost lost hope a few years back when i thought everything was all yakking and no grinding. lost more hope with the thought that this family ain’t getting bigger anymore (unless we plan to extend it to members like nieces or nephews or in-laws or grandchildren), so what’s the use of additional rooms and extra spaces? yet i didn’t lose faith. i still prayed for the carrying out of our plans, and so did my mom. in God’s perfect time, my family once again gathered and talked about our home’s house before paps left for his own call of profession last month.

while i was away, they went on with the pre-works. guess i’ve nothing to worry now. i have full confidence in my mother’s architecture, design, budgeting and supervision; my brother’s engineering, canvassing and surveying; and my father’s accounting, auditing and disbursement. what’s there for me to offer? my cleaning! my housework! well, that’s support still. like i spent the entire day blitzing through the filthy house (i’m getting OA here again) with my broom, dust pan, duster and damp rug. you just don’t know how difficult it is spring-cleaning your room filled with all furniture and etcetera temporarily deposited from the portion now renovated. not to mention my near-asthma attack from the cement dust. achoo!!!

actually, i’m not at all complaining. if these clutter i’m sharing my room with now marks (the first step of) the realization of what used to be just a blueprint of this family’s future then i so love this mess!

pinoy dream academy 10th expulsion night

i am a certified fanatic! i was still in love with ronnie liang this time. now, ronnie’s way out of the limelight after withdrawing his membership from star magic. oh well, where ever he is, hope he’s doing good. and i’m still not over the fantasy of seeing him in person again… more intimate this time. ;) i know iya is doing great in guam so i wish her nothing but more success in career and lovelife. naks!

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contrary to the ill-fortune of scholar joan ilagan, luck seemed to be on my periphery that fateful november 18 night. why?! i just can’t believe i was positioned at the bottom of the stairs leading to the PDA concert hall stage. up front, where my view of the performance and expulsion night was free from obstruction. forgive me but such fanaticism possessing me ever since kaye abad’s day 1 appearance in ang tv from way back when has taken over me once again. a visit to pinoy dream academy was actually one of my weekend agenda while on exile and it was just an enchanting twist of fate to have entered headmaster’s kingdom on the eve of my mom’s birthday.

… and without a ticket, for that matter. tickets have been exhausted a week before the 10^th expulsion night so i basically went to battlefield with no-nada weapons whatsoever. it’s just that big brother and headmaster love me and the fanatic in me dearly, they blessed me with an ever-supportive paps, who sapped out his network for sources of gate pass in the person of mr. bedimpled crowd controller i-forgot-his-name. but i would want to believe that it was still my charm which prompted him to stamp the pass on my arm.

then bambacute came running, er, strutting her butt towards the concert hall 10 minutes before the performance night started.

it was indeed an unexplainably awesome feeling… being there inside the concert hall, watching toni gonzaga and nikki gil practice their spiels, direk lauren having one last quick check on all logistics, abs-cbn staff and PA’s ushering the mentors and jurors to their spots on opposite sides of the dome, ex-scholars and dream girls making their way to their reserved seats, and fans here and there waving pictures and banners of their fave scholars who were then inside the academy still.

i was in the middle of these all… awe and star struck with everything and everybody. you probably saw the 10^th expulsion night, ok, so i won’t go blabbing about it anyway. just some behind-the-scenes unforgettables…

mom’s fave, scholar panky trinidad, really shook the entire dome with a powerful rendition of santa claus is coming to town, that is. maderloo, panky simply is superb! and ey, after a chitchat with ex-scholar chai fonacier (panky’s bestfriend), i found out that we’re neighbors pala in skyline. uhmm… not exactly mega neighbors, but neighbors with their relatives. greatness! hui, fitness master, teacher gege, has humongous feet. no wonder she kicks pretty damn hard, huh! early fave, gemma fitzgerald, was accommodating enough to enthusiastically smile for the digicam with me. such a lovely gurl!

jena, you should’ve seen your chad peralta in person. hunkable, papable is he! yoko na magsalita pa baka sabihin mo na namang inaagaw ko sya sa’yo. “let jena know it’s christmas time again…” flunked by an all-bisaya assemblage, jay-r siaboc easily spotted me amongst the audience and flashed me a big smile. hay naku, kung di ka lang bf ni bestfriend iya, akin ka na rin. oh well… “have yourself a very merry christmas” yes, I’ll have myself a very merry christmas, thanks to you, fafa jay-r.

toni gonzaga is a tunganga queen pala. in between spiels and takes, she sits quiet in one corner, stares blankly at nothingness with tired eyes and slouched shoulders. that’s how grounded she is, then takes a 180-degree turn of emotions right when the camera lights on her. aba, ganyan ka pala ha?! and nikki gil… she just answered why geoff eigenmann and gab valenciano went gaga over her.

waitness! correct me if I’m wrong ha, but was that a long second glance my ronniekins just gave me before going backstage? nah, no need to correct me coz i know deep in my heart twas really me his eyes were searching for in the crowd. “sana ngayong pasko ay maalala mo pa rin ako…” -- of course, babykins, we’ll be together by then. but for now, you have to come across that nomination clean, okei? mashado ka kasing na-distract sa beaming presence ko last saturday eh. -- ex-scholar michelle bond a.k.a. my ronniekins’ “cat” (puh-lease) may be there but i effortlessly over-powered her influence on ronnie by my mere existence. simple as that!

and to top it all… bestfriend iya ginez, who haven’t been watching the performance nights after being expelled, was there in support, of course, to boyfriend jay-r. what a sweetness sight to see! she was just there with chai, taking pictures and videos of jay-r and cheering on him. mind you, she’s not that chubby and dark in person as she is on tv yet still genuinely pretty. no-need-to-bat-an-eyelash pretty. and this… this picturesque is the main reason why i braved the crowd amidst the noise and haste.

mababaw and crazily funny, it may seem for some, but for an extremist fan (reads: fanatic!!!) like me… spare me the ridiculous-look in your eyes… coz i just had a definitely great night to remember.

originally posted on november 20, 2006 @ friendster blogs

happy half-year anniv to me!

boy, was i so happy working in and for this company some four years and three months ago! well, i’m still happy now but not as much. see, circumstances are far more different today and with the way things are, i’m kinda losing the thread that binds my loyalty in tact. i still owe this company so much, though. aside from the fact that this is my longest employment so far, i’ve learned so much from my almost-five years stint as a trainer here. and i’d never be more thankful for the friends i got to know from GIPI.

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exactly six months ago now, i stepped into this world of motorcycle merchants – it was 8:00am. i was just chums with pareng tirso from way back WOW and job fair undertakings that’s why i learned about this company. thanks to his sponsorship generosity. it really was a strange feeling walking into a new domain, seeing unfamiliar faces with expressions i did not instantly make out. but i appreciated the sincere efforts of warmness and kindness gestures. promise!

“o bamba, dati kinukulit mo lang ako sa cheke ng sponsorship ko. ngayon, ka-trabaho na kita,” was pareng tirso’s welcoming remarks.

i positioned myself amongst the occupied HR peeps, beside a seatmate who hardly talks but humanitarian enough to bare a smile. (by the way, nice smile, jo!) my first weeks were monotonous, lame, humdrum (for crying out loud!). but the pace started to notch a level higher during the succeeding weeks and months… and hardly did i notice, i’ve been with this company for a half-year already. a world i happily welcome as extension to my list of comfort zones.

they’ve given me a super action-packed, lively and momentous six months. (needless to say, busy, hectic, energy-draining, temper-challenging, brain-draining and the like…) to wit:

First Project: VMV

this kinda thing took me places… literally and figuratively.

• first stop was manila: got to meet the equally dynamic people on HO-SL and some SL branch employees. (just please explain why i had the odd feeling seeing those knee-length, pencil-cut skirt and hair tied in a pusod… if you get my point, shut up!) but what’s more stamped in my memory book was the time i spent bonding with dormmates, classmates, friends, acquaintances and, of course, paps!
• genuine laughter with the hilarious tcm bajada team (thanks to the waggy charles tomaroy and friends who sent us rolling on the floor)
• a developed crush with the captain of the pci cabaguio ship
• an unexpected reunion made possible by pci tagum
• gained good friends from tcm digos who are both royal bloods (di ba u? musta, kai?)
• bonding with the wacky casts of the tcm kidapawan and pci tacurong sitcom
• warranted with free ilonggo tutorials and instant friendship from a member of team tcm isulan. ang abyan ko nga indi kabalo mangakig, meldy.
• felt the warmth and hospitality of the tcm marbel populace and pci gensan (j. catolico) inhabitants
• off to pcs zamboanga, where i had a very sacred moment with God at the magnificent fort pilar. the pious me couldn’t close my mouth at how glorious the place is.
• bcoz of the tcm ipil group, i fin’lly found a bar which is open on a sunday night. gracias to jing, jean and brother franny.
• tcm dipolog are the people i love the most! i swear i’m going back to share another bonding moment with them… be it videoke at the branch, a walk and talk at the boulevard, a drive to dapitan and a plunge at dakak. wait lang mo, i shall return!
• my dancing partner who hails from tcm pagadian… prepare for our “pirmi naa ka” song and dance number soon
• in pci valencia, where i triple-shared a room with ga meldy and baby boy allan
• visayas cluster: my vow of return to pci iloilo bcoz of my panaad to oblation in miag-ao campus will soon be realized. (and i won’t forget that charming crush of mine there. thanks for the ride!)
• i promised sir gamay i’ll spare more time at pci bacolod. not only will we tour the city but the neighboring towns as well and… take pictures! ahihi (sheepish smile) but ahh… can we ride on four wheels instead of two this time? my back kinda killed me the morning after.
• cebu b! if being stranded in the rain means a sumptuous dinner of puso and manok, then i’d gladly spend the night stenciling tons of mc units with team pci cebu. and promise me we’d climb that hill higher with the rest of the pci mandaue gang on a non-drizzling night, denz.
• and of course, side trip to tipolo for my irresistible little treasure, sarah francesca! happy belated birthday baby!

first project pa lang yan ha… see, i’m not really into the work part of the experience here, obviously… just the lighter part of everything that i do. combining work with pleasure, as they say. but i’m more of the “pleasure” type of person.

The Royal Bloods

these are the beings who made my career adjustments effortless, affluent and stress-free. these are the faces you often see me with in pictures and videos. the individuals you’d identify me with. i may not have shared something deeply confidential and utterly serious with them yet (except for one, though) but they are the ones who spell f-u-n the way i do. they were never judgmental of the way i look, my fashion taste, kakikayan, katarayan appeal and my language. they accepted me for who i am and respected me not bcoz of my position but bcoz of being me. it feels so great, so groovy having known them. my sense of belongingness was heightened when i got invited to gimiks and hang outs here and there.

• ankle bob’s house: it was extraordinary… simply extraordinary! i couldn’t say anything more. just look at the pictures… hmm… on second though, teh, puh-lease hide the pictures. for members only nga lang pala yun.
• the venue: the episode happened twice already. lots of dancing, laughing, shouting, strutting and body breaking dance moves. that stage side ledge beamed a different kind of glow as we braced our stuffs sending cheers and jeers from those below. huh!
• epol: the first and only (so far) overnight get-away i shared with some seven earthly-creatures-mistaken-for-humans (plus me) in the wilderness of marilog. amidst the cold and dark, sounds of glee echoed over the place. we simply couldn’t stop the soft chuckle from becoming loud laughs from the big mouths due to our nonstop idiotic antics. even the super duper cold water from the falls did not refrain us from our face and abs exercise a.k.a. ngisi, katawa, kabuang.
• pool party: through the kindness of mama rose, we had another bonding moment worth p50.00 inclusive of eat, swim and kiat all-you-can’s. in our skimpiest attires, we braved embarrassment and ridicule and sashayed our assets around the calupcupan private resort. pictures here, there and everywhere. poses, innocent and otherwise, flooded everywhere leaving the pool hungry for chlorine. it was one helluva night!  
• durian eating contest: twas the eve of my half-year anniv being a gent. finished 3 puyat durians amidst the bustling magsaysay area, street children, er, brats, and noise. naglalis pa jud sa kambyo. a very unadorned way to celebrate the pride of davao. ending scene was all eight of us walking our way back to the office somewhat possessed with that bizarre spell only the durian knows what.

so who said giving something up would not pave way for something greater? to “ate mate” who once said i’m the person who’s not worthy of friendship, screw you!

i am just on my sixth month battling the quandaries of this new-found corporate life of mine… bisor and cuz-in-law, miss ivy, jokingly asked me where the HR celebration will be? ey, i’m up for regularization, God-willing. this would be another step in the corporate ladder… meaning, another set of challenges, another chapter of energy-consuming activities, new lines of complaints, greater problems to face and the list continues… am i ready for this?

it was 8:00am when i first opened that door of gentrade international (phils), incorporated… i’m about to clear my desk and head home. the royal bloods have gone ahead. a big smile is posted in my face and confidence in my heart as i am finishing this blog entry. it’s 8:00pm, six months after… and yes, i am more than ready for tomorrow.

originally posted on october 5, 2006 @ friendster blogs

farewell is not goodbye

he was the apple of my eye then. an inspiration that got me getting up every morning to go to work. but he was never mine. glad that he wasn’t coz he’s now a very good friend. what we have is a friendship that knows no distance. even if we don’t talk much and he has a new lovelife (me too, btw), i’m just happy at how we are right now. thanks to what we were before. *wink!*

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"farewell is not gooodbye." ~~ that was what he told me before we parted ways yesterday night.

ok, a lil enlightenment... the guy i was referring to in my previous blog and the guy i'm about to write about (yah, about) incidentally carries the same body (and name, and scent, and smile, blah, blah, blah). yah, sya nga! after my making-a-fool-outta-myself drama, here i am still subjecting myself to utter foolishness. (another word for foolishness, please? uhm... bamba?) see, i can't be anybody close to a "special somebody" to this someone coz somebody owns this special somebody for me and calls him her special someone already... for three years now. gets? i vowed never to talk to and with him again to stop the what-he-calls gayuma of his from mounting up my systems. i don't think i love him or anywhere close to that yet (thank heavens!) but it's just that as the days went by, we're identified as each other's. we became an instant item, so to put it. and the more i resist (bcoz of some sane pledge), the more i find myself enjoying every minute and every thought of it... undeniably. it's like having a grade one crush all over again. the kilig factor is just so endearing! someone has put a smile on my face again. that certain kind of smile that kills... me.

then profession called for us to take a break from each other. i thought, "what's in it for me then? he's nothing more than a friend so why be bothered with his anticipated temporary distance?" there are really times in some friends' lives when they have to be away for a while, not to forget about, but to strengthen the bond. not to make it difficult, but to make it easier. as he was preparing the documents he needed to bring along, he confessed that as preparations neared completion, the heavier his heart got for he, too, dreaded the goodbye part of the fairy tale. what dah?! talk about complexities, huh? talk about making things easier, right?!

the approval of his cash advance request signaled it... he was ready to go. "this is really it," i read. and yes it was! we cheerfully walked the block, filling each other with the day's events, unmindful of the verity of his interim departure. i may have hated goodbye's but as he said, this is just a farewell... and farewell's are not goodbye's.

nobody now would consume the more significant hours of my day through skype chat, which i delight in the most. that brief coffee moment we used to share every morning at the pantry... the chupa chups strawberry and cream i used to enjoy every afternoon... he'd be gone for 20 days (or so, he said), yet he only left me seven sachets of green tea. it coudn't last that long... he needs to come back before i run short, er, out of supply. the two-block walk after work as we head home... the happiness i feel with his company... all that and more, i am starting to miss. nineteen more days to count as i patiently await the coming home of a friend whom i share a special something with. whatever that "special" means, we both know we're not taking a step further than that...  (little bamba on my shoulder: defensive ka yata?! di kaya?)

i woke up awfully early today (like 3:30AM) and felt a bit odd. more like a paradigm shift has hit my helmet bad and broke it. in the silence of my neighborhood, his words echoed, "farewell is not goodbye." i wasn't feeling the sadness like last night's, neither the emptiness or the somewhat longing. all i felt was the surge of excitement to start a brand new day and face the challenges that await me and my work. to top my morning with irony, i saw the bus that took him away from me (and to the tuna capital of mindanao) on my way to heed the call of my profession.

no more unreasonable sadness, in lieu, all smiles for a wonderful, extraordinary comradeship and lotsa positive vibes to get me through that 20 days or even more. all fairy tales have happy endings... and if we're in the realm of one, i know a happy, friendly ending looms somewhere, some time, after 20 days. but then again, today is just day one.

originally posted on october 4, 2006 @ friendster blogs